DAY one in the Celebrity Big Brother house and they’ve already been in to the diary room to ask for headache tablets.
At least it’s the first full day for the celebs in their new world just off Borehamwood High Street.
Jermaine Jackson is ticking off the hours until he can escape, asking this morning: “Did yesterday count as one of the days?”
It will be 25 days in total for those who survive to the end. And that’s a lot of headache pills.
Here are the very latest odds:
Jo O’Meara (5/1 favourite) The former S Club 7 singer has left her dog breeding business behind to appear in CBB. Told Jermaine today how she owned an umbrella Michael Jackson left behind in a limo. “Oh, wow,” replied Jermaine, who must get out more.
Leo Sayer (11/2) Early contender for most annoying housemate. Has yet to learn that not everyone feels like dancing first thing in the morning. “I probably wouldn’t watch a show like this,” he revealed. May end up under the patio.
Dirk Benedict (6/1) His arrival in The A Team van was the highlight of last night’s launch show. Began today with a keep fit routine using a skipping rope. Early contender for most annoying American.
Ian Watkins (13/2) Taking steps to establish his individual identity but has already had to apologise once today: “I’m quite jolly in the morning, sorry.”
Cleo Rocos (8/1) Hair modelled on the Empress of the Racnoss, as played by Sarah Parish in the Doctor Who Christmas Night special. Quiet so far but trying to be helpful.
Shilpa Shetty (14/1) A huge Bollywood star but unknown to everyone in the house. Looked impossibly glam on the launch show. This morning she was pictured snacking from a big packet of crisps.
Donny Tourette (20/1) Boozed up for his arrival last night – we’ve seen it all before, mate. Not so loud today. Hungover in dark shades, puffing on a cigarette. Towers Of London fans must love him. Will we get to see the real Donny? Do you care?
Ken Russell (20/1) Singing in the rain last night. Today he was in a blue dressing gown revealing how he borrows DVDs from his local library. A legend.
Danielle Lloyd (22/1) Booed on the way in after talking about her hectic days filled with shopping. Her pyjama top read: “Grumpy but gorgeous.” Will need to work hard to avoid disaster, although she volunteered today: “I’m good at technical things.”
Jermaine Jackson (40/1) Still shell-shocked at what he’s let himself in for. Obviously there to talk about brother Michael who “can see everything”. Switch off now Michael.
Carole Malone (50/1) Many years ago on my first day at a local newspaper, she walked through the newsroom with an entourage. Noting the breeze, a colleague informed me: “That’s the Carole Malone Roadshow.” Nothing has changed.