YES, I know some of you may have been on holiday.
You, for example, hunched over that keyboard which hasn’t been cleaned for weeks.
There is a reason why they say not to eat pain aux chocolate over your desk, you know.
Anyway, I’ve been sat here for the duration of Easter and beyond so that you didn’t have to.
Not that I’m jealous of your fresh-faced complexion.
Or lack of a twitch in your right eye.
My half day off on Christmas Day will be reward enough.
Only 250 shopping days left now.
So if you’ve just wandered back into the blogosphere from the real world, here’s some of what’s been happening around these parts in the last week.
Firstly two words: Susan Boyle.
If you follow me on Twitter – and why on Earth would you not want to? – then you’ll recall the first word I relayed from the London press launch of Britain’s Got Talent:
Decades of journalistic experience helped me come up with that one.
I’d like to think the next day’s blog and then the feature ahead of Susan’s first appearance on screen persuaded a few people to tune in who might otherwise have run a mile from such a show.
Or perhaps not.
Even if you’ve been making sandcastles for the last week, you’ll know what happened next.
Including “never been kissed” Susan’s appearance on Larry King’s CNN show.
Breaking news from across the pond is that Barack Obama is stepping down so that the singing sensation from West Lothian can take charge in the Oval Office.
Meanwhile here at home, the recession is over with champagne to be made available free on the NHS as from 6pm this evening.
My own favourite follow up on the story came from a blogger called Forever Amber.
A footnote: Hollywood is set to finish work on Local Hero 2 by the end of May.
Over in Hell’s Kitchen, the first celeb gets the sack tonight.
That’s if Jody Latham doesn’t walk first.
Come on, look as if you care.
Good to see Claudia Winkleman’s eyelashes restored after an optical error of spectcular proportions on the launch show.
In other real worlds – or is it? – Ashes To Ashes returns for a second series this Monday.
9pm. BBC1. And I know you finally gave up watching Heroes weeks ago, so no need to email.
I saw a preview DVD of A2A2 episode two last night and am bursting to tell all.
There’s one word which will…no, no, you’ll just have to wait until next week for that blog post.
On a more serious note, ITV3 repeated Hillsborough, one of the most powerful TV dramas ever made.
I wrote about that here.
It would have been nice if ITV had seen fit to screen the drama without any adverts – or at least thought about the content of some of those they did show.
But it’s all about money, or the lack of it, these days, isn’t it?
Which is why writers like Jimmy McGovern and Paul Abbott should be funded by the National Health Service, just like the bubbly.
Talking of Mr A, he got a mention in Friday’s feature about the return of a certain someone to Shameless.
You’ll never drag it out of me.
Well, OK then, it’s Chris Bisson as Kash Karib.
Chris told me he never thought of his re-appearance on the Chatsworth as a secret.
“You tend not to talk about it until somebody asks you,” he said.
Good job I asked, then.
Real missing people – and real tears – featured in this week’s Cutting Edge documentary.
Also along the way were three Corrie stories, two actress interviews and the latest on tonight’s Britain’s Got Talent.
Step forward Darth Vader…
And don’t even mention the diary for next week.
The sun is beating down outside and I should be out there, racket in hand, showing Rafa just how to whip a backhand down the line.
But there is a pile of telly to watch, including a DVD about George Best.
The forthcoming BBC2 drama Best: His Mother’s Son, to be precise.
On screen a week tomorrow.
By sheer co-incidence, earlier today I made the rash decision to leave my keyboard behind for a return trip to King’s Cross station in London.
Gosh it’s bright out there, isn’t it?
Driving past both the pub where I once spent a very long afternoon with George – and then the hospital where he died.
He dreamed the dream and discovered a nightmare on the other side.
Ending in a life cut all too short.
So whether you’ve been relaxing on your hols or welded to a computer screen in the last week, let’s all count our blessings, shall we?
Britain’s Got Talent: The Press Launch
Dreaming The Dream: Susan Boyle
Dreaming The Dream: Photo Gallery
Hell’s Kitchen: Jody Latham
Ashes To Ashes: Philip Glenister
Ashes To Ashes Photo Gallery
Ashes To Ashes: Philip Glenister Extras
Hillsborough: “I Want The Truth”
Shameless: Chris Bisson
Trail of the Vanished
Countdown To Christmas
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