NOW, didn’t I tell you not to take it too seriously?
Serbia’s fist-clenching Marija Serifovik won the Eurovision Song Contest last night – and the UK’s Scooch finished joint second last.
Marija had been second favourite, so her victory wasn’t unexpected.
Also entirely predictable are the protests about the “flawed” voting system – and the Eastern bloc vote.
Leaving that aside for the moment, TV viewers across Europe and elsewhere were treated to a magnificent show last night.
Terry Wogan, doing his usual brilliant job for BBC1, was right to lavish praise on the “wonderful staging” – and the two main presenters.
He also singled out at least one error of judgement by the production team. “The girl in the pink frock…a brave effort.”
But even our Tel sounded a little weary as the three hours and 15 minutes of Eurovision drew to a close.
“Hardly the most memorable music you’ve ever heard in your life,” he commented over the closing credits.
“Again block voting, which tends to rather, I think, detract from it.
“But still, we only came second last. Unfortunately Ireland came last. And western European countries were left out in the cold, I’m afraid.
“Still, next year will tell another story.
“As always, it’s great fun, wonderful to do. It’s been a great occasion.”
The four main sponsors of the contest, all from western Europe, did badly.
France was the other country in joint second bottom place with the UK, while Germany finished 19th and Spain 20th out of 24.
Latvia suffered one of the biggest disappointments of the night. Its fancied entry – those opera chaps in top hats – had to make do with 16th.
Wogan was particularly upset to see Ireland end up in last place.
Very sadly, singer Cathy Jordan got it wrong on stage, ending any hopes Dervish might have had.
Just two countries voted for the UK – Ireland gave us seven points and Malta awarded Scooch a maximum 12, so ensuring a tourism boost from Britain.
While you could argue that both those votes for the UK were also an example of block voting, calls have already been renewed for a review of the Euro poll.
Those demanding that the UK withdraw might have more ammunition, should we ever enter a top song and performance and then do badly.
But for millions, the Eurovision Song Contest is simply a night of daft entertainment and spectacle, with the crazy voting just part of the nonsense.
Scooch singer Caroline Barnes got it right when she said: “I laughed so much I cried at the voting.
“I’m not gutted. I don’t want to say it was expected, but you know what Eurovision is like.”
Wogan: “We Won The Cold War But We Lost The Eurovision.”
A Manchester Fan: “Why I Love Eurovision Glamour.”
The Final Scoreboard